1.-"Because I'm black, you think I did it?"
2.-"Can I make a statement? Your mouthwash ain't makin' it!"
3.-"I hope your "HOBO-STAB INSURANCE" is paid up."
4.-"You have no idea what you will agree to until you are on fire!"
5.-"GREAT! Now I can finally get hepatitis!"
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
5 Things That Happened to me on my First "Moon Lighting" Shift in a Small Rural E.R.
1. Truck fire on the Turnpike made me really late.
2. Locked my keys, scrub top, and lab coat in my car.
3. Heroin Overdose
4. Respitory Failure
5. Slept the last half of the shift.
2. Locked my keys, scrub top, and lab coat in my car.
3. Heroin Overdose
4. Respitory Failure
5. Slept the last half of the shift.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
5 Reasons it is better to be a 2nd Year Resident:
1. No more "House Officer" shifts
2. 1 less ER shift per month
3. $80.00 per month raise
4. 1 year closer to "GOOD" parking at the hospital
5. A new crop in Interns to distract the Attending Physicians
2. 1 less ER shift per month
3. $80.00 per month raise
4. 1 year closer to "GOOD" parking at the hospital
5. A new crop in Interns to distract the Attending Physicians
Friday, June 20, 2008
5 Common ER Abbreviations
1. FLK - Funny Looking Kid
2. TDTF - Too Drunk To Fish
3. FDGB - Fall Down Go Boom
4. FURB - Fucked Up Real Bad
5. TNTC - Too Numerous To Count - (Complaints) - Otherwise known as - I didn't have anything better to do than come to the Emergency Room today!
2. TDTF - Too Drunk To Fish
3. FDGB - Fall Down Go Boom
4. FURB - Fucked Up Real Bad
5. TNTC - Too Numerous To Count - (Complaints) - Otherwise known as - I didn't have anything better to do than come to the Emergency Room today!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
5 More Reasons I Hate Being House Officer
1. Spending all night waiting for a nurse to call and tell me they have screwed something up and expect me to fix it.
2. They don't serve food after 7:30- and the house officer refrigerator is empty.
3. I'm ready to go home and I still have 1 1/2 hours to go...
4. Did I mention the nurses piss me off?
5. I'll probably waste the better part of my day off sleeping.
2. They don't serve food after 7:30- and the house officer refrigerator is empty.
3. I'm ready to go home and I still have 1 1/2 hours to go...
4. Did I mention the nurses piss me off?
5. I'll probably waste the better part of my day off sleeping.
5 Reasons I Hate Being House Officer
1. It's boring.
2. I can't sleep at the hospital.
3. The nurses call for ridiculous things on people who are doing O.K., but don't pay attention to the ones who are trying their best to die.
4. The nurses don't do what you tell them to.
5. No one knows if their patient is a DNR until they have either been unresponsive for over an hour or you have been coding them for at least 15 minutes.
2. I can't sleep at the hospital.
3. The nurses call for ridiculous things on people who are doing O.K., but don't pay attention to the ones who are trying their best to die.
4. The nurses don't do what you tell them to.
5. No one knows if their patient is a DNR until they have either been unresponsive for over an hour or you have been coding them for at least 15 minutes.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
5 Things a Drunk Man Said to Me Yesterday
1. "White people drink Listerine, black people drink whiskey!"
2. "OH BABY, that feels good!" - during his rectal exam!
3. "I like pain, why don't you get some blood from my ankle?"
4. "Obama's the next president and you are on your way out!"
5. "NAH, I won't cut your head off, I can't even kill a squirrel no more!"
2. "OH BABY, that feels good!" - during his rectal exam!
3. "I like pain, why don't you get some blood from my ankle?"
4. "Obama's the next president and you are on your way out!"
5. "NAH, I won't cut your head off, I can't even kill a squirrel no more!"
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